When My Heart Is Overwhelmed

There is a particular kind of pain that comes with being seen.

Not the kind of being seen that feels like recognition.

The kind that feels like a target.

He Called Me a Jewel

I was working at the CDC when an executive coach came in to work with our leadership team.

He was brought in from the outside. Paid well. Given a room full of senior leaders who were supposed to learn from him.

And somewhere in the middle of that session he stopped.

He looked around the room. And then he looked at me.

And he said, in front of everyone, that I was a jewel.

He told the room he did not know why they had paid him to come in when they already had me sitting among them. He gave me accolades I had not asked for. He told them to listen to me. He said I got it in a way that was rare.

I sat there and felt something I had not felt in a long time at that job.

Seen.

And then I went back to my desk.

And waited to see what would happen next.

What Happened Next

They moved me to another position.

Not because my work had suffered. Not because there was a legitimate business need. But because a room full of insecure leadership had just been told that the woman sitting among them was more gifted than the expert they had flown in.

And instead of leaning into that gift, they removed it from their presence.

I want to sit in that for a moment because I need you to understand what that does to a woman.

You spend years showing up. Working harder than anyone else. Doing more than your job description requires. Investing in your own growth. And then the moment someone with credibility stands in front of the room and confirms what you already knew about yourself, instead of being celebrated you are punished.

I went home that day feeling depleted. Undervalued. Taken for granted.

Unseen. Unheard.

And something else I did not want to admit.

Afraid.

Not of them. But of my own gift.

Because when your gift keeps making people uncomfortable, when being excellent keeps getting you moved instead of promoted, when being seen keeps leading to being silenced, you start to wonder if the gift is the problem.

You start to think about hiding it.

And that is where the enemy wants you.

When My Heart Is Overwhelmed

Psalm 61:2 says, "When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I."

I held onto that scripture like a lifeline in that season.

Because overwhelmed is exactly what I was.

Not broken. Not finished. Not defeated.

But overwhelmed.

There is a difference. Overwhelmed means the weight is real. It means what you are carrying is heavy. It means you have been strong for so long that even your strength needs somewhere to rest.

And the rock that is higher than I means there is a place above the confusion, above the insecurity of other people, above the workplace politics and the smallness of leaders who cannot celebrate what they cannot control, where God is already standing.

And He is not confused about your gift.

He put it there.

The Shadow Nobody Names

I want to talk about something that gifted purpose-driven high-performing women do not talk about enough.

What happens to your gift when it keeps being punished.

You do not lose it. It does not go away. But you start to manage it. You learn how much to show and how much to hide. You read the room before you speak. You hold back the insight that comes naturally because you have learned that sharing it fully makes people uncomfortable.

And over time that holding back becomes a habit.

And that habit becomes self-abandonment.

You are not hiding your gift to protect other people. You are hiding it to protect yourself from the pain of being punished for it again.

That is the shadow.

And it lives in every gifted woman who has ever been moved, passed over, dismissed, or sidelined not because of what she did wrong but because of how brightly she shone.

What I Want You to Know

If you are the woman in the room whose gift makes the leadership around you uncomfortable, I need you to hear this.

Their insecurity is not your assignment.

You were not placed in that room to make small people feel comfortable. You were placed there to do the work God equipped you to do. And when the environment is not big enough to hold what you carry, that is not a reflection of your value.

It is a reflection of their ceiling.

Do not lower yourself to fit under someone else's ceiling.

And do not hide the gift to make the room more comfortable.

Because somewhere there is a room that is waiting for exactly what you carry. A leader who will recognize it. An environment that will celebrate it instead of punishing it. An assignment that is actually big enough for the gift God placed in you.

But you have to keep showing it. Even when it costs you. Even when it gets you moved instead of promoted. Even when the room gets quiet when you walk in.

Keep showing it.

The Shadow Work

Here is what I want you to sit with.

Have you been hiding your gift to avoid being punished for it again?

Have you been managing how much you show up in the room because you have learned that showing up fully makes people uncomfortable?

Have you mistaken their inability to handle your gift for evidence that the gift is the problem?

It is not the problem.

It is the answer.

And the woman who needs what you carry is waiting for you to stop hiding it.

When your heart is overwhelmed, go to the rock that is higher than you.

Let Him remind you of what He placed in you.

And then go back into the room.

All the way in.

If you are ready to do the deeper work of uncovering what you have been hiding and why, I would love to walk with you. Book a free Shadow Discovery Call and let's talk about the gift God placed in you and what has been keeping it hidden.

Coach PBJ is a shadow work coach, speaker, and founder of the SHIFT Signature Program. She helps women step out of survival and into purpose. Learn more at coachpbjspeaks.com.

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